ATTENTION ALL. I BELIEVE THAT WE MAY HAVE AN IMPOSTER AMONG US. SHE IS USING ROBIN'S NAME BUT IT AROUSED MY SUSPICION WHEN SHE GOT MOST OF THE BIRTHDAYS WRONG. AND THEN LAST NIGHT SHE ASKED,"WHAT THE HELL IS A MASSEY FERGUSON?". THAT THREW UP A RED FLAG IMMEDIATELY. AS YOU MAY KNOW, I KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON THESE THINGS SINCE OUR ENEMIES WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO GET THE KERNEL'S SECRET. HOWEVER, AFTER MUCH RESEARCH LAST NIGHT, I WAS ABLE TO LOCATE ROBIN'S BIRTH RECORDS ONLINE AND IT SADDENS ME TO SAY THAT IT APPEARS SHE MAY NOT BE A COOTS AFTER ALL. ACCORDING TO THE BIRTH RECORDS DATED 13 - MARCH - 1963 HER FATHER IS LISTED AS ROBERT RANSOMER AND HER PLACE OF BIRTH IS LISTED AS AN ADDRESS THAT COMES BACK AS THE OLD RIKE'S PARKING GARAGE IN DAYTON, OHIO. THAT IS ALL THE INFO I HAVE AT THIS TIME. I WILL CONTINUE TO FORWARD ANY NEW INFORMATION AS IT BECOMES AVAILABLE TO ME. MY CONTACTS AT HEADQUARTERS HAVE ASSURED ME THEY ARE HANDLING THIS MATTER AS DIPLOMATICALLY AS POSSIBLE, SEEING AS HOW THIS COULD BECOME A MATTER OF INTERNATIONAL CONCERN. LASTLY, ANY FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE REGARDING THIS MATTER MUST BE THROUGH SECURE CHANNELS ONLY!
THE KERNEL
6 comments:
I categorically deny all allegations that dispute my birthright. In fact, any further accusations of this matter will result in legal action being taken.
I would also like to state, for the record, you are an idiot, Doug!
well,doug must be a coots,who the hell else would remember bob ransomer
ROBIN, IS IT ME OR DOES YOUR DENIAL SOUND VERY BILLCLINTONISH? ALSO, MARK, YOUR NAME HAS NOT BEEN COMPLETELY VALIDATED EITHER!!!!!
ROBIN DIDNT KNOW THAT A MASSEY FERGUSON IS A SEWING MACHINE?
a sewing machine?! they said it was a tractor and pete said that is what darrell "calls" his tractor. sounds a little green acreish to me, but you know..
oh my god! My whole family is insane!!! Oh and about the bdays... Robin got mine right :)
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