Thought I would post some pics taken this weekend at The Knoxville Pridefest
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
LITTLE GEMS THAT FLOAT AROUND IN MY MIND AND PREVENT ME FROM SLEEPING...
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
Why is a boxing ring square?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can an ambidextrous person make an off-handed remark?
Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Why do "tugboats" push?
Do bleached blondes pretend to have more fun?
If a man speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
How can "quite a lot" and "quite a few" mean the same thing?
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
Why is a boxing ring square?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can an ambidextrous person make an off-handed remark?
Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Why do "tugboats" push?
Do bleached blondes pretend to have more fun?
If a man speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
How can "quite a lot" and "quite a few" mean the same thing?
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
Monday, June 22, 2009
EDUCATIONAL INFORMATION YOU REQUESTED..
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans. I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .
Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read stuff on their computer with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans. I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .
Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read stuff on their computer with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
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