LITTLE GEMS THAT FLOAT AROUND IN MY MIND AND PREVENT ME FROM SLEEPING...

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest?

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Why is a boxing ring square?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can an ambidextrous person make an off-handed remark?

Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Why do "tugboats" push?

Do bleached blondes pretend to have more fun?

If a man speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?

How can "quite a lot" and "quite a few" mean the same thing?

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?