Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing
that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports
my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

FEAST YOUR EYES! (not for weak stomachs)

Soooo....this is the rash on my shin I've had since November. Nothing over the counter has helped. I can't figure out what it is but then I still have not received my medical license in the mail like they promised on www.beyourowndoctor.com Anyway, I thought I'd post it on here to see if anyone has seen this kind of rash before. It's gotten darker and bigger recently if that helps anyone's diagnosis. Here ya go......

Hey Doug! Betty was still swooning over you.......

When she left for her new home in Texas last night.

Finally have time to post....

Sorry that I haven't been on here much. Just been busy and have a lot going on. Robin, I tried to call you the other day but I got your voicemail. It's Allergy season here and I'm dying....Brandy your pics were so pretty, I'm glad that you had a great time..It's getting closer and closer to the big day... Are you nervous? Cecil, You've been quiet. Cat got your tongue? Well, I gotta go and finish getting ready for work. Robin I'll try to call you tonight.

Yayyyy!!!!. I was finally able to log in without it shutting my internet down. Brandy I loved the pics of your vacation. Robin you know I just love visiting with you. The smart ass comment makes me feel like I am at home with my friends. I am Planning on coming up in May but not sure now I got into a wreck last Friday night on my way home from work and totaled my truck and got charged with a D.U.I. Its a long story but NO I WAS NOT DRUNK! I work in a bar you get alcohol spilled on you so you smell like you have been drinking. My boss at the resturaunt I work in got me the best attorney in K-town and he says I should be able to get out of it, especially since I refused the field sobriety and made them do blood work. Well enough of how I'm doing hope everyone is doing good, hope to hear from you soon.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE COOTS' GONE??

WHAT HAPPENED. DID THEY MAKE THE INTERNET HILLBILLY PROOF?

IT'S VEWY, VEWY QUIET....

Ok, what's been going on? No one has posted anything since Brandy last week.

Surely, someone has SOMETHING to say.

I don't really. Been working a lot this week and been really tired (as usual). Ready for a nice long spring before summer hits. Probably not gonna happen, but still I hope.

Peg & Johnny didn't come up at Easter because Peg was feeling bad. I hope you are feeling better, sissy! Call a sister sometime why don't ya. Cingular...it's free.
Plus, I wanted ask you about how you preserved your orchids from Hawaii. A friend from work is going next month and she is interested in how you did it...she does scrapbooking, etc. I keep forgetting to call you (I keep forgetting, period).

Saw Pete the other day, she's fine. Her internet service expired and I don't know if she is going to renew it or not. So, for right now, she's not able to see the blog.

Woody's is gone! It looks weird and just...wrong. Ah well. Progress, I guess. Or the best WC can do.

What's up with everybody else? I haven't even seen Mark on line in a couple of weeks. Of course, I haven't been on much myself.

I saw Chance left a message for Michelle on her myspace...said he's coming back up here in May. Told you he really enjoyed his visit with me!

Well, that's it from me........your turn!

HOGGING THE BLOG

Ok - so I feel like I have been hogging the blog lately, so I'm going to give my fingers a rest for a while!
Just a note about the pics - that's me in the VERY UNFLATTERING picture, zip lining through the rain forest. The other 2 girls are Kelly (my best freind) and Rise- pronounced "Reesa" - Kelly's cousin. She lives there - we stayed at her house - the one that looks like a cabin.