I'M BACK!!!!!

Sorry that I haven't posted anything in awhile. My laptop has been in the shop getting repaired from where my eldest child had broke the hinges. anyway.... I've been working alot, we've been really busy which is a good thing considering the economy. Robin, I don't know what we can say or do to help you get through this terrible time. But I do know that you cannot blame yourself. Do not feel guilty about that night, PLEASE!!! chad was a grown man and he made a bad choice. He wouldnt want you to feel guilty about any thing he chose to do. Just please be strong hold your head up high and remember that there are alot of people out here who love you very much!!!

Cumberland pictures

Here are some pictures from our trip to Cumberland last October. I took a couple of cool pictures of the Chapel at the Pine Mountain Settlement School.

Happy Pics!

I have been meaning to get these pictures posted! They were taken on Christmas Eve. Jimmy and Angie brought their Wii and we all played and had a rip roarin' good time!

ROBIN

DEAR LORD,
WE NEED YOU TO WALK WITH ROBIN TODAY
WHILE SHE IS FRAGILE AND HER WOUND OF GRIEF IS DEEP.
HELP HER TO MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN HER LIFE
AND SHOW HER HOW TO LIVE AND ENJOY LIFE ONCE AGAIN.
AMEN.


DEAR GOD,
BLESS US ALL
GRANT US PEACE FROM OUR FEARS AND DOUBTS,
FROM THE TURMOIL OF OUR FAILURES,
FROM THE PAIN AND SUFFERING IN OUR SOULS.
ENDOW US WITH HOPE FOR THE DAYS AHEAD,
WITH COURAGE TO MAKE NEW BEGINNINGS,
AND WITH LOVE TO STRENGTHEN OUR RESOLVE TO LIVE.
AMEN.

ROBIN,
YOUR HEART IS LIKE A VESSEL, IT CARRIES WITHIN IT ALL THAT YOU ARE AND ALL THAT YOU WILL EVER BE.
GRIEF AND DEPRESSION ARE LIKE RUST UPON THIS VESSEL, AND IF LEFT UNTREATED, THEY WILL SURELY DESTROY IT.


I've had choices
since the day that i was born
there was voices
that told me right from wrong
If i had listened
I wouldn't be here today
living and dying
by the choices i made

-GEORGE JONES

CENSORSHIP??????

Some day when I am past grieving for Chad every minute of every day
Some day when I no longer sit here crying my eyes out because it hurts so bad he is no longer here
Some day when I can flip on this page and not remember how he used to laugh at Doug's foolishness and ask if Doug mentioned him
Some day when I can remember how he would sit here and hold my hand while I prayed for you to come through your surgery and while I made phone call after phone call after phone call
Some day when I can stand to think how I would be reading this blog and he would ask who this person was and who said what and how cool he thought it was for us to do this
Some day when I don't have to pore over police reports and autopsy reports and death certificates and call coroners to get them to answer questions that won't ever bring him back but I have to know anyway
Some day when I can deal with the fact that while I was staring at my phone around 5:30 am that morning and wondering why he hadn't called is right around the time he died and wondering why I didn't call him, why I just didn't call him
Some day when I can accept the fact that the choice he made that night killed him and if I had made a different choice that night I could have saved him
Some day when I can think of how I waited a lifetime to feel that kind of love, to know that kind of love and to have it gone in an instant because of stubbornness and stupidity
Some day when I can look at the one picture I have of Chad and me and not wish I had hundreds more
Some day when my heart is not broken and when every single part of my body hurts like hell because I miss him so much and I can't remember what it was like before him
Some day when I realize being the daughter and sister of alcoholics did not make me tougher or wiser, just more accepting

When that day gets here I'll be glad to explain the difference between censorship and common decency, BUT I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW. If having a biracial president is the WORST thing you can imagine and and if it BOTHERS you that our country celebrates a day in remembrance of a man who only asked for a couple of non-important things like peace and equality but whose skin was darker than yours, well, you are a lucky, lucky person.

Because I can tell you about things a lot WORSE and they BOTHER me every day and every night.

Do not fuck with me. I am standing on the edge of a cliff and all I've got behind me is disappointment and heartache and all I see before me is nothing. I am beyond tired, beyond worrying, beyond caring about stupid stuff, beyond trying to take care of people and things.

None of you need me to run this blog. None of you need me to even contribute to this blog right now.

But I need you. I need to come here and see pictures of GOOD things, FUNNY things, to read posts and comments from my family about GOOD and FUN things. How hard can that be?

Now, get out, get walking, strengthen your heart and your legs (all of you), take some pictures and post them on here. Talk about reunions this summer, play your quizzes and games, do something.

This moderator is on break.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

CENSORSHIP TODAY,COMMUNISM TOMMORROW!!!!

REAL FRIGGIN COLD

LAST NIGHT (FRIDAY) AT 11:00 P.M., SPRINGFIELD OHIO WAS THE COLDEST SPOT IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY. INCLUDING ALASKA! ACCORDING TO CHANNEL 7 NEWS. THE TEMP. @ 11:00 WAS -17. YES , MINUS SEVENTEEN!!!!! THAT JUST MIGHT BE COLDER THAN KATHY'S HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Heres the pics of Bailey on Christmas. She is so adorable. The other is Shawn and I on New years I was working at the bar. John these pics are on my myspace so if you go to my profile you can click on them and add them to yours. I am sending Mom some copies I printed.

Alive and well

Hello everyone. I promised Robin I would post and let everyone know how I'm doing.I got out of the hospital Thursday night. I am still having stomach pains and trouble walking. I thought it would be good for me and Shawn to go out Friday night but, I ended up being sick all day Saturday (he is cussing me saying I'm trying to do to much to soon). Anyway I have been talking to Pete everyday, to make sure I'm doing what the Dr. tells me to do. They have me on lots of meds that they say I will be on the rest of my life. I have quit smoking and drinking since most people seem to think this is what helped bring this on. I am off work till the 19th so if anyone wants to call me my number is 865 247 7327. Other than that I am doing good. John as soon as i find my cord I will post the pics I took of Bailey on Christmas, she is so adorable. I hope everyone is doing well, and I promised robin I would log on here more. I hope everyone has a great New year

LORD, I HOPE THIS DAY IS GOOD